Dear Abby: Golfers refuse to share cart with only unvaccinated guy

DEAR ABBY: I have a problem with a player in our weekly golf group. He has not been vaccinated and will not wear a mask. Our group is mostly made up of older players who all share golf carts. Everyone in the group has been vaccinated except this person.

As group coordinator, I pre-arrange the foursomes each week. Several players have informed me that they do not want to share a basket with the unvaccinated person. In some cases, they paid extra cart fees in order to avoid riding with it. As you can imagine, it becomes a problem for me to try to get the groups together every week. How should I handle this? — SPORTSMAN IN ARIZONA

DEAR SPORTSMAN: Poll the whole group on how they feel about riding with an unvaccinated person. If the majority of players are uncomfortable sharing a cart with him, let him know that he will need to reserve his own cart and drive solo if he wishes to continue participating in the group. If that sounds harsh, maybe members who don’t mind riding with him—if there are enough of them—would be willing to ride with him permanently. You won’t know unless you ask.

DEAR ABBY: My 42 year old husband wanted to move to the North West. We first fell in love with it and lived there for four years. I found work, made friends and had a lot of fun. My husband continued to travel to Southern California for work and decided he no longer wanted to live up north. I protested, but he wouldn’t hear it, so we went back downstairs.

Now, after the pandemic year and having lived in our house for less than two years, he wants to move back to live in the North West because “it’s too hot, too crowded, etc., here”. I gave him my opinion, and a huge fight ensued. I never wanted to go back south, but he insisted with belligerent insistence. I do not know what to think anymore. No advice? — NORTH VS. SOUTH

DEAR N. VS. S.: Your husband seems to dominate the perch. Moving is a challenge, especially if you’re stuck with the responsibility of packing. Frankly, I’m more concerned about him not wanting to listen to your concerns than the inconvenience, but after all these years, I’m not sure it’s fixable.

On the positive side, you said you “enjoyed” living in the Northwest, finding a job you liked, and making friends. If you return to the area where you lived, you may be able to rekindle those relationships, so focus on the positive. If your husband turns around again, then you can decide to live separately in the place of your choice.

TO MY READERS: The eight-day Jewish holiday of Hanukkah begins at sunset. (VERY EARLY this year!) Happy Hanukkah everyone! A happy Festival of Lights to all of us. – LOVE, ABBY

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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