Most of us want to share our life with a partner who is our best friend. But what if that best friend isn’t a romantic partner? Why would that prevent you from having what most people want? The truth is, finding a lasting kind of love is special, and something worth investing in, even if it isn’t romantic love. And for April Lexi Lee (aka @psychottie on Tikok), it’s the kind of love shared between her and her 11-year-old best friend.
“This is for anyone who believes their soul mate is their best friend,” Lee said in her video urging viewers to “normalize platonic life partners.”
@psychottie On @cultclare & @jazmelodyy stuff. #platoniclifepartner ♬ original sound – April Lexi Lee
She continued, “My best friend is my soulmate. She is the platonic love of my life. She’s who I chose to live with. After 5 years of long distance, we finally manifested a way for her. to move to LA. [from Singapore] to be with me.”
Lee posted another video of the two reunited, and it sounds like something out of a Nicholas Sparks novel. The two hug each other for a long hug, with the caption “What a long-term, stable and healthy partnership can look like in 2021”.
@psychottie Don’t bother romanticizing my #platoniclifepartnership 🥰 @hotmilkwong #platoniclifepartner #bostonmarriage # tiktoksg🇸🇬 #tiktoksg ♬ Home – Edith Whiskers
Lee noted that his friends and family called them both “crazy”, for taking such a big step, to which Lee replied, “we wouldn’t be asked so much about it if we were lovers.”
This is a valid point. We swoon at movies where the lead man arrives at the airport just in time to profess his forever feelings to a woman he’s known for about three days, but somehow that relationship. 11-year-old does not justify such a gesture?
Lee argued that their friendship of over a decade had lasted longer than most couples his age. And most importantly, they were committed to each other and shared a vision for the future. “We see a life together,” she explained. “We want to buy a house together, we want to create a pension fund together, we could even adopt a child together and raise him as friends.”
Even though this dynamic is not considered traditional in our society, many have done it (and have done it well). People were even inspired to share their own ‘PLP’ success stories in the comments:
“I was raised by my mom and her best friend (mom # 2). They love each other in a platonic way and do everything together.”
“My best friend and I are buying a house together this year. We have already lived together for 15 years.”
“My boss did this with his friend. They even bought a house together. They’re still doing well after 35 years. It’s doable.”
Lee not only normalizes this relationship, she romances it. Just look at the beautiful love book she created while their relationship was still a long distance away. It’s filled with cute cartoon images and fun heartfelt messages like:
“I can’t wait for the day you finally come.
I will share my space with you, and your many alarms.
Learn to become an adult and survive.
To go on a road trip with you.
I can’t wait for you to push my limits, because we know that being fed up with each other is a privilege. “
Seriously, do you find someone who looks at you like Lee does her best friend, platonic or whatever.
@psychottie Reply to @psychottie we are so cute and here we are 🤩 @hotmilkwong #platoniclifepartner #longdistancerelationship #ldr @LoveBook ♬ Monkeys Spinning Monkeys – Kevin MacLeod
“My mind is blown away right now. It never occurred to me that this was an option, and I love it and I want it!” one person wrote in the comments (uh, yeah, same here!). This is why standardization all healthy types of relationships is vital. We are better able to see what is possible.
The bottom line is: romantic love is not king. As Lee said, “If marriage isn’t for you and you want to start a life with your best friend, then do it!” What really matters is finding someone who turns you on and challenges you, who fosters a sense of health and safety, and who you are happy to ‘make life’ with.
Excuse me while I go to make a love book for my best friend.